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mmcirvin ([personal profile] mmcirvin) wrote2004-04-03 10:17 am

Stuff you thought was profound

Various people discuss their teenage bookcase embarrassments—books that changed their whole worldview but seem like crap now. I've managed to avoid many of the books mentioned, though some were assigned to other people in high school. I did think Jonathan Livingston Seagull was kind of cool when I read it at, I don't know, the age of 10 or 11; I suspect it would make me queasy today. Earlier I said I might think the same way about Gravity's Rainbow, but I was just thumbing through it in a bookstore the other day and the prose was still grabbing me. Didn't get the urge to reread it from the beginning, though.

It occurs to me that much of my teenage boookshelf was abandoned in the course of various moves from one place to another (my parents tried hard to counter my packrat tendencies), so I don't personally have many of those books any more in order to be embarrassed by them. I do think I have a more forgiving attitude than those people do toward the books that really kicked me in the head in my youth. If I went back and re-read Douglas Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach now, it would be with a more skeptical eye and I'd be asking myself how relevant all of Hofstadter's manic intellectual cross-connections really were—and, of course, he made various predictions about the future which have in some cases turned out to be wrong. But I think I'd also remember how profound an effect the book had on my adolescent mental development, and it would be impossible to hate it.

I thought William Gibson's Neuromancer was stupendously awesome when I read it back in the eighties. Of course, a lot of people did. Now I probably would find that fact a little embarrassing; but, on the other hand, I'd also try to remember what it was like to read it at the time it came out, and look for what was good in it that made it so appealing, which I suspect was actually a lot.

The books that I liked as a teenager but really wouldn't today are, I think, more the ones that I had to give the benefit of the doubt back then, because everyone kept telling me they were so brilliant. For instance, I remember liking The Catcher in the Rye, but it was an at-arm's-length sort of like; I didn't immediately sympathize with Holden Caulfield the way I did with, say, Huckleberry Finn, or Trurl and Klapaucius.

I never really saw the appeal of Camus.

[identity profile] swinehund.livejournal.com 2004-04-03 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
It was 16-17, and it was all Henry Miller and Taoism. Henry Miller stuff is nowhere as profound as it used to be, and I can't read the Tao of Pooh without getting really annoying at the author's smug simplicity (didn't actually think it was that profound then, just tolerable). The Tao Te Ching was actually quite profound then, but would be pretty eh now. A lot of my other reading choices were recommended by friends in university, so they're not so embarassing (like Milan Kundera). I'm not sure if I'd still like William Kotzwinkle or not now. At 18 I read about half of my library's mythology section, and I still like that stuff.

What's really funny is the journals I kept, mostly around 16 and 21. The 16 ones are so misguided and floundering, but the 21 are funny to read because they chronicle the development of my adult personality and the first stumbling across the ideas I hold now. It's funny to read how excited I was when I first found out about them.

[identity profile] mmcirvin.livejournal.com 2004-04-03 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
When I read stuff I wrote when I was younger, I find that there's a finite time window in which I'm really embarrassed, because I think of the person who wrote that as being essentially the modern version of me, and I'm shocked by the stupidities that appear. But when it's from earlier than that, I am less embarrassed because I make allowances for how young and inexperienced I was. Watch Your Brain (http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/kibology/watchyourbrain.html) was much more embarrassing for me to read as a teenager than it is now.

[identity profile] mmcirvin.livejournal.com 2004-04-03 11:06 am (UTC)(link)
By the way, the kid who wrote "Space: 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999" was probably the closest human equivalent to StrongBad that I have ever met, except that he didn't look like a Mexican wrestler with boxing gloves. He was an unlikely source of literary inspiration.