Maybe there needs to be a genuine war on Christmas. Not a literal one, but one where people say enough is enough already. Christmas gifts and decorations show up before Halloween, radio stations throw out their formats and play Christmas music from Thanksgiving to Christmas Day, and you can't throw a dead cow without hitting someone's garish Christmas light display. For the love of corn, cut it out already. You don't have to put lights on all 18 of your miniature fur trees for us to know you're really Christian. We'd believe you, even without the tinny sounds of "Feliz Navidad" coming from the Santa doll on your porch, you know the one, it's dressed like an 80s rap star.

It's all commercial, anyway. Why Christians feel so compelled to defend two solid months of crass commercialism that benefits a few megabillionaires and has nothing to do with Christianity is beyond me.