"I'd tend to get the worst crushes on women whenever I entered a new social environment. I think the idea I had was that with no reputation, I could start from scratch and become this newer, hipper person; and step one was to find somebody to ask out on a date. But then of course I'd start having sweats and palpitations and building up this massive fantasy about this arbitrarily chosen person instead of just doing it, and in my head the poor girl would become a symbol of my attempt to reinvent myself, and it would just be completely doomed. When I met Sam, for once I wasn't trying to reinvent myself at all."
That's how I initially felt about college, having been at a horrid all boys school for the previous five years. I spent a few weeks wandering about, rather depressed that all the nice girls already had boyfriends and such. Howwever, then I got a girlfriend outside the college (outside England, as it turned out), and so could begin to enjoy my college days by just having fun and not really trying to do anything serious at all, I wasn't looking out for anything or anyone. As a result I gained a lot of friends, many of them female, and all was well. Now the relationship I was in is over (we're still friends, though :-) ), but I'm not frightened of ever asking anybody out if I wanted to - my confidence has been severely upped. :-)
When I go to uni, I hope to just play the befuddled silly Englander in a new place, who doesn't appear to have any designs on anybody, and lots of girls will find me cute and gravitate towards my general innocent silliness. ;-) I'm also quite fond of being camp when I wish, which can get me along in conversations with girls (not saying that you have to pretend to be camp for girls to like you, obviously, but it ups my own confidence) - I will freely say if I find certain males attractive, and generally prefer female conversation topics (which tend to be more people and emotion based) than male ones (which are often more material, cars and games and such). At college I've been able to flounce about and make people laugh on occasion and get some close friends that way. It was a gamble - everybody could have just found me an extroadinarily irritating berk, and some probably do. ;-) I flirt a lot, but never try to do it in a serious fashion.
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Date: 2005-07-28 06:31 am (UTC)That's how I initially felt about college, having been at a horrid all boys school for the previous five years. I spent a few weeks wandering about, rather depressed that all the nice girls already had boyfriends and such. Howwever, then I got a girlfriend outside the college (outside England, as it turned out), and so could begin to enjoy my college days by just having fun and not really trying to do anything serious at all, I wasn't looking out for anything or anyone. As a result I gained a lot of friends, many of them female, and all was well. Now the relationship I was in is over (we're still friends, though :-) ), but I'm not frightened of ever asking anybody out if I wanted to - my confidence has been severely upped. :-)
When I go to uni, I hope to just play the befuddled silly Englander in a new place, who doesn't appear to have any designs on anybody, and lots of girls will find me cute and gravitate towards my general innocent silliness. ;-) I'm also quite fond of being camp when I wish, which can get me along in conversations with girls (not saying that you have to pretend to be camp for girls to like you, obviously, but it ups my own confidence) - I will freely say if I find certain males attractive, and generally prefer female conversation topics (which tend to be more people and emotion based) than male ones (which are often more material, cars and games and such). At college I've been able to flounce about and make people laugh on occasion and get some close friends that way. It was a gamble - everybody could have just found me an extroadinarily irritating berk, and some probably do. ;-) I flirt a lot, but never try to do it in a serious fashion.