Niobe's ears

When we first got Niobe back in 1998, she had a terrible case of ear mites. I don't know whether there's any connection or not, but ever since then, she's had chronic waxy buildup and irritation in her ears. The vet can't figure out the exact nature of the problem.

He has her on expensive hypoallergenic food, which I doubt is doing anything, though it might conceivably be helping with Nestor's endless stuffy nose; and withholding the canned Nine Lives is probably good for everyone's weight, anyway.

He also has us washing her ears out with a funny-smelling solution every couple of days. This does seem to be doing some good. The problem is that Niobe hates this procedure so intensely that it's poisoning her entire relationship with us. The ear-washing happens only after we pry her out from under the bed, chase her around the house, and finally manage to outrun and catch her, with lots of hissing and bristling and scratching. It's rare that she doesn't manage to draw blood. What's worse is the erosion of trust: she'll run away from us if she sees us looking at her with a funny expression. The only time she feels safe to hang around us is when we're in bed.

She's always been intensely defensive of her personal space; I think of her as half-feral. But at the same time she's a wonderfully affectionate cat when she feels safe, and once she was the most outgoing people cat of the household. I hope there's some way to win her back, even if we have to keep doing this indefinitely.