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I am thankful that I do not have any opinions about that Jesus movie.
Mar. 17th, 2004
Names again
Mar. 17th, 2004 06:59 pmSpeaking of Matthew Yglesias, I think he's being completely stupid here, unless he's joking. (But not as stupid as that flamebaiter in the comments.)
He thinks that the social pressure for women to change their names at marriage is such a crushing burden that we have to start "shaming" women who do want to change their names in order to make things better. While the annoyances are real and Sam's had to deal with them, I doubt that this hardship is so great that it exceeds the obnoxiousness of going around denouncing women who change their names because they want to. The lesson ought to be that you can call yourself Humpty Dumpty or the man in the moon if you like it. It isn't as if the situation is set in stone; in my experience, only older people call women by their husbands' first and last names as a default form of address any more, and I'm pretty sure that used to be much more common.
Some husbands change their names in some way when they get married; often they hyphenate their last names or change their middle names. It's a nice gesture, but I didn't, mostly because I think "Matthew James McIrvin" sounds good and was chosen well by my parents. I have mostly stopped correcting people who address me on the phone as Mr. Wilkinson, and we usually go by Wilkinson at restaurants because most people at least think they can spell it.
And: In the linked article, Katie Roiphe is being even more stupid when she denounces more baroque schemes like hyphenation and synthetic kids' names. Is it really that much of a curse to saddle your kids with the problem of what to do with their hyphenated names when they get married? What business is it of hers if somebody else is "obliterating ethnic resonance"? Is everyone in the universe a hopeless busybody?
By the way, I'm pretty sure that when people address Sam as "Mrs. Matthew McIrvin", what she feels is not "a kind of frisson".
He thinks that the social pressure for women to change their names at marriage is such a crushing burden that we have to start "shaming" women who do want to change their names in order to make things better. While the annoyances are real and Sam's had to deal with them, I doubt that this hardship is so great that it exceeds the obnoxiousness of going around denouncing women who change their names because they want to. The lesson ought to be that you can call yourself Humpty Dumpty or the man in the moon if you like it. It isn't as if the situation is set in stone; in my experience, only older people call women by their husbands' first and last names as a default form of address any more, and I'm pretty sure that used to be much more common.
Some husbands change their names in some way when they get married; often they hyphenate their last names or change their middle names. It's a nice gesture, but I didn't, mostly because I think "Matthew James McIrvin" sounds good and was chosen well by my parents. I have mostly stopped correcting people who address me on the phone as Mr. Wilkinson, and we usually go by Wilkinson at restaurants because most people at least think they can spell it.
And: In the linked article, Katie Roiphe is being even more stupid when she denounces more baroque schemes like hyphenation and synthetic kids' names. Is it really that much of a curse to saddle your kids with the problem of what to do with their hyphenated names when they get married? What business is it of hers if somebody else is "obliterating ethnic resonance"? Is everyone in the universe a hopeless busybody?
By the way, I'm pretty sure that when people address Sam as "Mrs. Matthew McIrvin", what she feels is not "a kind of frisson".
Spoken-word album to follow
Mar. 17th, 2004 10:01 pmSo. Why am I spending all my time lately posting HARD-HITTING opinion articles that TELL IT LIKE IT IS!!!?? Is it something in the water?