bram will like this

[mmcirvin]

Somebody asks:

Question for Men Who Refuse To Dance

How come?

I think just maybe it's all the people laughing at me and pointing and occasionally taking me aside to give me heartfelt advice to please stop before I embarrass myself any more.

Granted, that mostly happened in high school. I think that lots of people are working through social trauma experienced at a youthful age when most of their peers were completely horrible people, often in spite of the best intentions.

In a very different vein, when I was in graduate school I got snookered by some female hallmates into participating in a ballroom dance class that was desperately short of male partners. I could do all those ancient stiff-backed European dances pretty well, though I think I've forgotten all the steps by now, and I could even do some of the basic swing moves OK. But the Latin stuff was just not happening. There is some kind of sexy brain node for doing Latin dances that is missing from my head.

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Little known fact: Latinos actually have an extra joint in their pelvis. We can have you set up with something similar in an easy out-patient procedure.

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

Oh, baby!

[secretive-bus.livejournal.com]

I don't know why I don't like dancing. I mean, I freely make a fool of myself the rest of the time. It might be that the best time to dance is with a lady, and that's why you think to yourself "I've got to get this right and I've got to play it straight," and you get nervous. I hate making an idiot of myself if I genuinely don't mean to, and a dance is a situation beyond my control.

[partiallyclips.livejournal.com]

I despise and avoid dancing for a lot of reasons. Social trauma of my teen years is probably not a major issue, though. I have little natural rhythm, but what I do have is completely absent from my lower extremities. It's not that I am uncoordinated; I can punt a football or climb over a rock without tripping. It's just that I can't make my feet stick to a beat for more than a few measures, and even that takes extreme concentration.

Dancing's not fun for me. I can't be clever while dancing. I can't learn anything while dancing. To me it's just a contest to find something goofy to do with your hands and feet for a while, but one that isn't TOO goofy. It's dull. There are no important choices to make. There's no "win condition" to it (unless you count "getting laid," and there are plenty of other ways to play THAT game).

It's socially uncomfortable, but that's not self-consciousness; I'm quite comfortable speaking or singing in front of a crowd. It's just that I'm doing something I don't enjoy and am not good at, with people who are better at it and who do enjoy it.