Eleven tedious stories.

[mmcirvin]

Via kate_nepveu and everyone else: Excerpts from Eleven Tedious Stories, by Lemony Snicket.

"But if you're a wizard," asked Henry, "why can't you just defeat the Shadow Lord and his army of vicious porcupines with a wave of your wand?"
"That's a good question, young Henry," replied Thistlewing. "You'd better sit down, because I'm going to take the next nine pages to explain what wizards can and cannot do in this particular magical land."