Impostor syndrome

[mmcirvin]

I think one of the reasons why I'm so prone to catastrophic thinking is that I've always had the impostor syndrome: I've never believed my generally good luck, always thought I wasn't worthy of it, so there's this feeling that it's going to run out one day soon. And if I can't come up with any personal mechanism for that to happen, why, there's always total economic collapse, giant asteroid strikes, earthquakes, nuclear war or a fascist takeover.

As I get older I'll probably lose a lot of that, because as all the systems in my body start slowly breaking down there will be much simpler ways for my luck to run out, ready at hand; and I'll probably figure that I won't live to see the really big catastrophes.

A possible corollary is that people with greatly elongated natural lifespans will do a lot of worrying about gigantic civilization-wide disasters. I suppose that this is one of the things that Greg Egan's Diaspora was about.

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Hmm... i have no problem believing my generally good luck. I mean, it's obvious. But i definitely feel unworthy of it, but only because i haven't felt i've done enough with it (although i think that's changed since i got married; then again, that might sound conceited), and i do suspect it's going to run out.

I am an imposter

[ex-askesis860.livejournal.com]

I've yet to put in a single week at work (http://www.cyc.com) without thinking, "They're on to me." I just know I'm going to get called into a meeting where it's revealed my employment was part of an elaborate psychology experiment designed to test the limits of human gullibility.

The promotion, the bonus, and the raise I got this year? They're just setting me up, man.